my spiritual journey
Its SPRING! And it finally feels like it too! I wore this adorable maxi dress to my cousin's wedding last weekend and it was perfect for it. Summery in style, but the material was thick enough to keep me warm once the sun went down! Its only $30 and I'm definitely going to be wearing it all spring/summer long.
I think its important to share posts like this on here, because it really does affect the content I'm producing and what you will be seeing from me. If you followed me a year ago, you know that my content back then was completely different. While I love sharing my fashion posts and where to find a good deals, this is a lifestyle blog and life is about more than cute outfits!
This post will be a little more personal than I normally get, but I hope these words are ones others can benefit from more than just learning my point of view on things.
When I was a baby, I was baptized Catholic, and we practiced Catholicism throughout the younger years of my childhood. When I was ten years old, I was re-baptized a Christian. We made the change because my mom felt Catholicism had too many "man-made" rules, and she didn't feel like it was bringing her closer to God.
As I continued to grow up, we started going to church more and more sporadically, then not really at all. I went through a pretty significant phase of not wanting to follow a "religion". I think most teenagers go through the phase of not wanting to be told what to do, especially not by someone I couldn't physically see.
I had friends who were gay, a sibling who is transgender, my parents had been divorced, and whatever else you could think of that was frowned upon in a lot of religious texts. Religion, in the traditional sense, didn't seem to make sense for me or my life. I just didn't fit the mold. So, for a long time, I just acted like it didn't exist. "I'm just going to try to be a good person, and I'll be fine." I'd say to myself.
But like anything you need to face but try to ignore, it found me. It found me at a time that I felt a bit beaten down, so I was open to having some extra help. Sound familiar to anyone?
But I wanted help in my life, not 'judgment'. So, the idea of being spiritual but not religious had appeal. To me, this meant believing in the existence of a greater power, but not labeling it Christianity, Buddhism, or whatever else.
And let me tell you, going into this phase of "reconnecting" with that mindset made a world of difference. It felt simple, I could listen to my mind and body for its spiritual needs without societal pressure. We are all different in how we connect with the Higher Power (or God, if you're more comfortable with the name). This method was what I needed to form my relationship. Some needed bible school, I needed this.
For me to even get started, calling my higher power "God" was off the table. Not that I had or have beef with God, but the name just didn't feel personal to me. At that point in time, I didn't feel connection when I thought of it as a God-Human relationship. Instead, I chose to think of it as an all-surrounding, multi-faceted energy, rather than the big guy who hangs out in the clouds.
At the time, I was reading a lot about this sort of belief system. I gathered that this energy returns to you what you ask of it. Both negative and positive. In order to allow it to see what you truly desire, you've got to connect.
So, I started meditating every morning. Sitting in silence for 7-10 minutes, just breathing, with occasional stretching thrown in on those days where I just could not sit still. And this made me feel really good physically and mentally.
I had read that some people set an intention for their meditation (some would call this prayer, but label it what you want to). They ask their Higher Power to provide them with something, to relieve something, or what have you, during their practice. So I started doing that. The first thing I asked for was peace. I wanted peace in my life so badly, that was the only thing I could think to ask for.
So I asked. About 5 minutes into my deep breathing-meditation exercise that morning, I was overcome with a wave of emotion. Out of actual no where. I just laid there on my bedroom floor, crying my little heart out. No specific thoughts were running through my head, nothing specific had triggered it. I didn't even necessarily feel 'sad'.
But you know what came from it?
I'm not even joking, it was that easy. In that moment I somehow let go of something that was disrupting my inner peace. It wasn't a situation or any person in my life that was really disrupting my peace, like I thought it was. It was something inside of me that I clearly hadn't let go of yet.
After that, for the first time in my life, I began my relationship with my higher power.
No matter what religion/spirituality you practice, I think we are all referring to the same entity. So if you are having a hard time connecting with a specific religion, do what feels right for you. I know some people won't agree with this, and that's okay. But when you actually create a real and strong relationship with your higher power, you will feel it in your bones and it will feel right.
My journey to being healthy spiritually is still in process, and I wish someone would have shared something like this with me sooner. It isn't wrong to find your own path. Its all a journey. Not a single one of us is on the exact same path, so how could we expect to all connect with 'God' in the exact same way?
Moral of the story, you don't need to be religious to have a relationship with God. You don't even have to call it God. But if you're in a place where whatever you've been doing to connect just isn't working for you anymore, do something different. Its the same entity. It still wants you to have what you want in life. It is always there.
And thank you for reading this far, I know it was a bit more than normal! I hope you know that there is no wrong way to do it, and when you find what works for you, you'll know.